A Strephon Story

Male Seduction Of Females As A Kind Of Inverse Commitment

As a dreamwork psychologist and psychotherapist it has been my lot to work with all sorts of people. It was not my job, of course to understand them, but to help them understand themselves and do something responsible about their personalities. Thus I tried to combine my values with their needs, not alway a happy thing to do.

A significant number of people could fit this story’s prototype but I include only a few case histories here.

I had a male client once, around thirty-five who had several sessions with me once a week. I kept trying to find out what his problem was and why he came to me. We got into talking about his feeling lack of fulfillment in his sexual life. He simply could not find the right woman for him or hold onto her.

As part of his sharing he told me that his method for seducing women was to take them to dances and their indirectly ask them about their fathers. He said he could tell from how they responded whether he could seduce them that night or not.

I thought we had enough sessions under the belt that he would trust me if I challenged him, so I asked him on what basis he felt it right to seduce women like this by manipulating them?

He got angry and that was the last session we ever had. He lacked commitment to work on his real self. He wanted his problem solved but he had not committed to changing himself as the realistic price to pay for healing himself and becoming a successful relator.

In a Dark Side way he was committed, or compulsive, about seducing women, but he was not consciously committed to a value, because he would not change his destructive pattern, destructive to himself and to at least some women.

An Ambition Story: 

I once called together three other writers on dreams to found a society for the study of dreams and dreamwork in the many approaches. Unbeknownst to me, one of the writers manipulated a meeting of our founding committee by introducing there her husband and her friend, both psychiatrists. We met in her house so she just took over the meeting, forcing another important member to resign. 

Her ambition had gotten the better of her and she had run roughshod over the rest of us. She had commitment, but again of the compulsive kind. She took over by a kind of force and changed the organization to one run by herself and her people at first.

She was committed to her own career and image but not to the value of cooperation with others who had trusted her. Her commitment, her single focus was to herself and power, no matter the damage to others who to her stood in her way. 

Commitment itself is not a value but a method of will-power to prevail over others or over a situation or problem. It has been said Hitler was committed, but to what? The death’s head symbol and to killing others in order to obtain control over them and their resources.

The Teaching:

Commitment is not enough. Commitment to a positive and One World Value is more like it. Don’t destroy in the pursuit of a new community value. Don’t run rough-shod over people because you think exercising personal will is a value for yourself when it may in fact be destructive to yourself and others.

AGENDA FOR COMMITMENT FORMAT

I agree in making this commitment with myself and you that I will stay focused on a certain value, goal, service or project for a certain amount of time we both agree on, say three years.

This means that the choice I make to the value defined will be an overriding choice that I do not go against if at all possible for me, despite whatever circumstances come my way to obstruct the choice and goal.

Definition Of This Commitment:

Goal:

Value:

Resources Committed:

Specifics Of This Commitment:

Strength Of This Commitment:

Time Length Of This Commitment:

Steps In This Commitment:

Specifics Of This Commitment:

Fundamental Choices To Be Made Starting Now:

Ongoing Way Of Reporting On This Commitment:

How We Or I Process The Ongoing Results Of This Commitment:

Relating Involved In This Commitment:

Termination Procedure And Date Of This Commitment:

Procedure: Of course discuss each of these aspects of making a commitment with anyone else making the same commitment with you, like to a marriage or business partnership.

If just for yourself, then you can write freely to all these aspects, and then refine them down into clear sentences that represent what you are to do in making a certain commitment to yourself.

Of course we don’t just make commitments to others. How many of us have made almost formal commitments like this to ourselves? And if so, how did it all work out?

The tool of commitment can be highly effective. List also distractions or weakening actions that can destroy a commitment you try to make.

• not being clear at the beginning what you are committing to
• not being clear at the beginning how you are carrying through on the commitment
• not being clear on how you make choices in life that you carry through on
• not being clear on whether you are capable in resources and personality for making such a commitment
• not being realistic in what the goals and values are of the commitment
• not being realistic whether you have the power, knowledge, resouces and cooperation of others needed to carry out the commitment
• don’t commit to the impossible
• commit to the possible
• don’t try and make the impossible possible
• do try to make the possible actual if it has the chief value

COMMIT TO BEING COMMITTED IN LIFE

Still don’t know what to do? Read this:

If you don’t know what Commitment means or how to do it, start today or tomorrow, no, tomorrow is too late, with a little commitment you know you can carry through on. Once that commitment is successfully carried out, then make a bigger more challenging commitment and carry through on that as well. Thus, keep building your strength in carrying through on commitments you make.

RESOURCES

- buy and read Strephon’s book,

My Greatest Loves

, on how he develoed commitment in his relationships life and what resulted when he or others did not commit to themselves or the relationships started.

- buy

The Jungian-Senoi Dreamwork Manual

to learn how people committed to working with their dreams stuck with their process, or gave up on it.

- sign up for our

Three-Month Mini-Course On Commitment

. This course is a self-help weekly lessons course that you get from us and do at home. You commitment to changing some aspect of yourself by doing the lessons from Strephon Kaplan-Williams and reporting your results on the Comments page given you. You have access to all of Strephon’s teaching videos on the subject as well as the comments of others who also have done, or are doing, the mini-course. By carrying through on the course commitments you will change some aspect of yourself. We ask that you commit to the course and commit to change for the better some aspect of yourself. We do not judge you as to whether you failed or succeeded, as happens in school systems. We support you in experiencing a struggle to develop commitment within yourself.

- people are often asked to achieve goals not having experienced commitment training in itself. They are not prepared. So by working through our course you experience yourself working with the ways to develop committed actions and choices in your life.

- unsuccessful people are almost always uncommitted people

- successful people are almost always people who know how to commit to values and projects and achieve values and success in a committed way.

- if you don’t sacrifice what you have for what you don’t have you will never succeed in your chosen goals and purposes in life.

Just to show some commitment here in the moment you can choose right now to write down some of your thoughts fresh from reading this material. No one is telling you to do so, however.

You can try and live your life by trying to get people to tell you what to do. Or you can live your life by committing to values and projects that you carry out yourself, thus growing in strength and skills for what you can accomplish in life.